Compliments that Count

Sister Helen P. Mrosia taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minnesota. She writes about a life changing experience for her and her classmates. One day during her ninth grade math class, she had her students close their books and take out two sheets of paper.

Students were instructed to write the names of the classmates down the left hand side of the paper leaving space in between the names. Ms. Mrosia asked each student to write the nicest thing he/she could say about each person on the papers.

Over the weekend, the wise teacher compiled the compliments for each student onto one piece of paper. Monday morning the papers were given to each person. Smiles and rumbling were heard throughout the class. “Really… I never knew that meant anything to anyone.” “I never knew others liked me so much.” She never heard anything else about it after that day.

Several years later, the Elkund family called to tell Ms. Mrosia that Mark had been killed in Vietnam. The family requested her presence at the funeral. A range of emotions surrounded her through the event. One of the pallbearers asked if she were his math teacher. After confirming that she was, the young man said that Mark talked about her often.

After the funeral, Ms. Mrosia was invited to a classmate’s house for lunch. Mark’s parents were waiting for her there at the luncheon.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that" Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."

Ms. Mrosia sat down and cried.

We never know the impact of our words. Scripture teaches us to “love one another” and “build one another up.”

Don’t allow selfishness to keep you from encouraging people. Start at home; it can be the most difficult. Extend the compliments to those with whom you work. Focus on building up rather than tearing down.

Most of us see good things in other people – we do visualize it. We often fail in verbalizing it. We see good things in people; now make a habit to say it. Make someone’s day today!

Lifelong Learners

It’s hard to believe August is half over. Fall is fast approaching. School has already begun. Get ready for Friday night high school football games, Saturday college football games, and Sunday pro football games.

September also brings life back to the college campus as college students prepare to leave the comforts of home for campus life.

The college years hold great memories for most of us. Families are preparing for their college students to return. Roles continue transitioning from parent-child to friend-friend. These are exciting days.

One common element found in most college students is their lack of disposable income. Read the following letter exchange between a college student and his dad.

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,Your $on

Here is the dad’s reply:

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Dad

The dad got the point; hopefullythe son will, too.

School is underway for all age groups. Regardless of where we are on the scale, we’re all enrolled in the school of life. Make it your goal to become lifelong learners.

One way to be a lifelong learner is to be a reader. Most men never read a book after graduating from high school or college. Women buy eighty-five percent of the books sold in this country.

As a 13 year old, when Michaelangelo was asked if he could draw during an interview with a school, he commented, “I can learn.” Seventy-one years later he was asked to summarize his philosophy of life. Without hesitating, he said, “I still learn.”

Commit to keep on learning. II Peter 3:18 admonishes us to ‘grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…’ The Greek verb tense conveys the idea of keep on keeping on growing.

See what you can learn today!

The Question Behind the Question

John Miller’s book, ‘QBQ: The Question Behind the Question,’ basis its premise on the observation that our first reactions are often negative, bringing to mind Incorrect Questions (IQs). He claims that if in each moment of decision we can discipline our thoughts to look behind those initial questions and ask better ones (QBQs), the questions themselves will lead us to better results.

Three simple guidelines for creating QBQs are as follows:
Begin with ‘what’ or ‘how’ (not ‘why,’ ‘when,’ or ‘who’).
Contain an ‘I’ (not ‘they,’ ‘them,’ ‘we,’ or ‘you’).
Focus on action.

Put in practical terms, one possible QBQ is ‘What can I do?’

This level of personal responsibility changes everything. Try it. Let me know how it goes.

Reactions... is there a better way?

We humans are creatures of habit. Over time we take the path of least resistance; we learn to simply ‘go’ through the motions. Let’s take that a step further.

Here is the first of a steady dose of ‘pencouragement’ (a word I just made up that means encouragement through writing). I’ll throw out a brief thought/challenge and ask for your feedback/response. Together, at the end of the day, week, month, and year, we’ll be better because of this shared experience.

Charles (Chuck) R. Swindoll claims, ‘Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.’

Pay attention to how you react to things today. Customers, co-workers, managers, even family and friends will get a response from you; it is up to you to determine the type.

To react means to let people and/or circumstances control you. When you catch yourself reacting, stop. Think of another way. My guess is you’ll get a different result.

Try it. See what happens. Email feedback of specific examples.